seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
cat food counts as protein by the way
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
