why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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