So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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