Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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