walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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