Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Buhtt sex?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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