considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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