if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Randomize
