we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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