another moral hangover. fuck.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
