that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
We talked him into tasing himself.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
