I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
