is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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