peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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