Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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