Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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