I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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