we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Walk of Shame today included voting.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
