after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
