You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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