Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Randomize
