foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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