if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
