And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
