Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
