Pants 0. Shit 1.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Your penis caused this!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
