the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
