Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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