I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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