I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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