Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
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