So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
