I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
