Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
