Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
