she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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