i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
