I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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