His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize