it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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