So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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