put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize