i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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