Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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