at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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