you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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