proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
