he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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