i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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