If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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