i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
