There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize