she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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