i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
