Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
