ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
