I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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