please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
