I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
