u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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