Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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