I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
