Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
