maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
