i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
