If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize