so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
