Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
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