You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
